Starrliet and Colmeo: A Llanview Tale Askew
by Remilyon
Summary: Just a funny look at the show.


Starrliet and Colmeo- A Llanview Tale Askew

Author Note: I own nothing.

Summery: No plot, just fun.

Starr comes out on to the sound stage (hum sorry I mean...)

Starr Manning comes walking from school (why we don't know cause it is so obvious that her Dad would so give her a driver if she asked but on with our tale .) in our scene when who should she bump into but Cole. Now for most people this would be okay but this is a manning and a Thornheart or (Mcpoet as Starr's father would say).

"Um hi Starr." Cole looks around with fear written on his face.

"It's okay Cole my Mom is busy today. She won't be lurking just waiting to find us." Starr rolls her eye's as she speaks 'man a girls mother just happens to go off on a guy two times and he becomes a coward, or was it three?'

Cole is still looking around with a paranoid look on his face. "Are you sure? Cause I think she scares me way more than your dad."

"Totally it's been a while since she has had a good scene with my dad so the writers should be trying to work this whole 'Tangeline and Tair thing" to the max. But just incase we might want to check the bushes. Both Cole and Starr start running around the park checking every bush.

"Whew, no one there." they smile at each other and just as they are about to go in for the kiss, they both heard a cackling.

"Starr do you need a cough drop cause that didn't sound so good." Cole stood stunned for a minute trying to figure out why Starr had just hit him. Still looking confused and rubbing the sore spot on his arm, Cole waited for an answer.

"It wasn't me you ding bat." Starr rolled her eyes again.

"No it was not her, it was I." A man jumped out of the very bushes Cole had checked.

"Cole how could you miss that thing hanging out in the bushes." Starr hit Cole again.

"What I swear he wasn't there" Cole turned to Starr he could tell she didn't believe him from the yeah right look she had on her face. "No really"

Just as Starr was about to roast Cole alive the mysterious man spoke again.

"He is right I had to make my entrance suddenly and surprising no one could suspect who I am, that I was there or where I came from." Both Starr and Cole looked at the other then back at the man Cole whispered. "Be supportive and back away slowly he is nuts"

"No I don't come here to harm you honest I am kind and unassuming I only see the good in people" at which point Starr had to interrupt because this guy was boring her.

"Just who the hell are you? and why are you here?" The man looked down at Starr she didn't look nice and her foot was tapping impatiently. Wait, he knew that look.

"I am Miles the new dashingly handsome and possibly evil villain of Llanview." before he could continue with his well thought out and enigmatic speech (is that even a word?) he was shoved from behind. Starr and Cole looked on stunned as Starr's father Todd Manning pushed this Miles guy down and proceeded to kick him.

"No you don't get to be the villain damn it. I am the villain of this town and I'm sick of people trying to steal my title." Todd stopped kicking Miles and started to jump up and down like a kid throwing a tantrum. "I never go to jail when I'm the villain other people do. I don't get shot when I'm the villain only when I go to play hero in Ireland. I'm sick of trying to be good, I'm a villain and that's what I wanna be. I'm starting my list again and you are number one on it." Todd said poking Miles with his shoe.

"Why am I number one on it" Miles whined. Todd shrugged.

"Because you want my villain title and you can't have it. Therefore I will plot against you and maybe bury you alive. Then I will get my woman back and all will be great. That is until the writers make me do something stupid and she gets pissed at me again but oh well that is our cycle. I hope next time they can find me a filler that's not a lawyer you would think I would have figured it out by now the law and myself do not get along" Todd stated as he helped miles up.

"Well what if I don't go after your title. Can't I just be the mysterious, new hot guy trying to find justice?" Miles said thinking that if Manning wanted to be the town villain that badly he could have. Besides Miles wasn't too crazy about the whole always dressing in black thing they seem to do when one is evil or villainous.

"Well you could do that but we had one of those a while back, hey you met him he was at the whole revenge will thingy" Todd said thinking back.

"No, the last mysterious new hot guy looking for justice was there. Please tell me he wasn't the one with the..."

"Bad hair dress in black looking like he's never seen a razor." Miles shuttered as Todd continued to speak. "Yep that would be him John McBain. I personally don't care for him." Todd paused and thought for a moment, "But then I don't like most people. So I might not be the one to go by" Todd, Starr and Cole watched as Miles turned green thinking that would be his future bad hair, clothes, and hygiene.

At this moment Cole's mother showed up "Todd what did you do to him. huh. Miles it's okay don't listen to a thing Todd said."

"Ahh piss off Marty" Todd spoke " I didn't do anything to him just told him not to be trying to take my place is all unless they send me to Ireland. Wait no not even if i go to Ireland. I don't care how dead i may seem to be you cannot take my place. Plus, I'm never going to Ireland again."

For some reason (because the writers wanted him to and could give no good reason) John just showed up, "There is a great mystery that only I can solve here."

Following right behind him was Nat " You can't solve it with out me , I'm always involved in your great cases either as a victim or your partner and since I don't feel like going down a well again partners it is. John you are stuck wit me." She stated looking up at him with a smirk

Todd and Starr both rolled their eyes. Miles tried to hide behind Marty and could be hared whimpering something about that could not be his future. Marty got as close to John as she could with Miles holding on to her skirt and asked,

"John do you often feel as though you are the only one able to solve these "mysteries?"

"You leave John alone Marty he doesn't need your help" Nat said pulling John out of Marty's clutches

"Shut up Nat. I think is obvious your boy toy needs help, but a shrink won't help cause you need a brain for that. Muwhahaha."

------------------

Evangeline and Christian across town eating.

"That was an evil Toddian laugh. Chris I must leave you, you have been cleared of all crimes therefore I must find some other bad boy to save from himself and Todd just laughed an evil laugh I heard it from here. He needs me." Evangeline ran out the door of the diner before Chris could say anything, he sat there stunned for a a minute before Evangeline stuck her head back through the door "Chris I really do love you but this is my calling to save misunderstood, grieving bad boys from the horrors of their lives."

"hahahaaha this makes me feel better about how I got dumped... at least that wasn't her choice" Chris turned around to see Nash leaning against the wall laughing his ass off.

To be continued...


End file.
